Adventures With The Sims
by BonesBird
Summary: I have a Criminal Minds family on my Sims… I keep leaving them playing alone… the result is hilarious, so I thought I'd write it all down for you… Sorta story… mostly commentary. Completely AU. Do not read if you don't want to cry with laughter.


**Title: Adventures with The Sims  
****Author: BonesBird Abandoning Her Sims Game  
****Summary: I have a Criminal Minds family on my Sims… I keep leaving them playing alone… the result is hilarious, so I thought I'd write it all down for you… Sorta story… mostly commentary. Completely AU.  
****Disclaimer: I don't own the names… nor do I own the Sims (well… I own a copy) But I own this unruly mob.**

**I'm insane, and I think this is hilarious. This is about as AU as you can possibly get. Seriously… Just insane… It's more my commentary of what they are doing…**

**Transcribed mostly for my followers on twitter who know about my degenerate Sims family. Especially Rach and Ally. **

**If you understand it… or find it funny… or find it offensive… or think I'm insane… please review.**

* * *

So, we start the story with the standard team, Hotch, Morgan, Reid, Rossi, Garcia, JJ, and Emily. In one house. At this point something on my other computer calls me, so I leave them playing on high choice… This is how I take what happened between me leaving…

**I came back to find Hotch and Morgan making out… yeah… I have gay Sims**

Morgan: "Hey Hotch, you're pretty hot"  
Hotch: "You too" - makes way to the bedroom…

**Reid and JJ were enemies**

Reid: I'm so clever  
JJ: Shut up Reid  
Reid: That's mean  
JJ: This is mean *slaps with fish*

**Rossi and Prentiss were playing chess**

Rossi: Ohh silly children  
Prentiss: should we stop them  
Rossi: No. I'm too amused  
Prentiss: I'm amused too

**Garcia picked the pink bedroom and played on the computer**

Garcia: Die rebel scum.

* * *

At this point I return, and try to rectify what has gone on while I have been ignoring them. I can't separate Morgan and Hotch, so I leave them too it until they finally fall asleep, BUT I did make JJ and Reid friends again… until I got a phone call and left them too it again.

**Morgan and Hotch had worn each other out, and were asleep**

Morgan: zzzzzzzzzz  
Hotch: zzzzzzzzz

**Reid and JJ, after a brief respite, begin fighting again**

Reid: you're a bitch  
JJ: you're a know it all  
Reid: you're a child  
JJ: you're the child  
Reid: *slaps with fish*  
JJ: *pushes*  
Reid: *slaps*  
JJ: *fights*

**Rossi and Prentiss are cooking**

Rossi: They're fighting again  
Prentiss: They'll get over it

**Garcia is still in her room, playing on the computer**

Garcia: DIE REBEL SCUM

* * *

When I return this time I have no time to rectify anything, I have to go out, so I just have a quick look, and decide to leave it playing while I go out, its like a sitcom that's slowly on its way to being cancelled. Two hours and 13 Sim days later I return.

My biggest surprise was to find JJ unavailable… now… I checked all around the house for a tombstone… no… Reid hadn't killed her… When I looked for her I discovered she had moved… to China… That was the major play then. Reid drove JJ to move to China. Reid always slapping me with a fish would lead me to move to China too…

Meanwhile Hotch and Morgan had made some pretty big decisions, in my absence I notice that a little ring has taken residence on each of their profiles… so in investigating this I find out that Hotch and Morgan are engaged. Yes, you heard it. Engaged. They have clearly been having some fights about the wedding though, as they are now only on 85% friendship with each other.

Rossi and Prentiss appear to have decided to go their separate ways, they were never a couple, but before they had done everything together. While on my latest visit to their world, Rossi was in the pool, while Prentiss was playing chess with Reid, and losing, obviously.

Garcia, meanwhile, had apparently taken a break from her computer to shower, eat and get into her pyjamas, and sleep. Yes friends, she was asleep.

I decide that now it's time for bed for me, being 4am and all, so they get shut down for the night.

* * *

When they got turned back on the next day they immediately carried on with their odd family routine. Prentiss and Reid did things like shopping, and the all went to work… apart from Garcia, who refused to go.

Hotch and Morgan appear to have decided to hold their wedding. JJ does not attend, but Reid does. They all wear formal clothes, for some reason, Reid's "formal" clothes as a hillbilly farmers suit. The girls look pretty good though. Even Garcia tears herself away from the computer, though midway through the party she slapped Morgan… I wonder why?

Suddenly I look to the screen and I can't find Reid… Where as he gone… I click on his icon and he can't be found. Apparently this is a glitch in the programme and you just have to wait until they come back. So I carried on as normal. Prentiss and Rossi began playing Chess together again.

Garcia got herself fired by refusing to go to work. So now she plays on the computer, or she cleans the house after her 4 slobby housemates.

Prentiss begins refusing to shower.

* * *

So… after a 15 minute trip to the shop and two Sims days not much is happening. Rossi is beginning to show signs of depression though. He keeps going and sitting on the porch alone. His thought bubbles keep showing JJ. So I assume he's missing JJ. I let him call her long distance, and he cheers up a little bit.

Reid however, still hasn't turned up. I'm beginning to get a little worried. Morgan and Hotch appear to have gotten over the "newlywed lets have sex" part, and have been watching TV and went to the movies together. Which was quite sweet.

Garcia has gotten another job. As a mad scientist. So now they all work. Finally.

* * *

They got turned of for a while, because I decided to watch "Pleasure Is My Business" and "Penelope" with my friend. So after abandoning them again for a while I come back to find Hotch wanting a baby. So I decide they can adopt one. They adopt a girl. I call her Temperance in a Bones shoutout. So now there is a baby in the house… Garcia gets the maternity leave though… sexiest game…

Hotch and Morgan start arguing over baby. I'm hoping they don't break up. Its confusing enough that they ended up being gay in the first place. I think if I find out they were only gay for each other I may be irreparably damaged… At least they have help with baby.

Garcia doesn't like caring for the baby… so she doesn't do it often. It's only an hour before she can go back to work, then Morgan, Hotch and babysitters become Temperance's norm. Hotch and Morgan seem to settle down again (I'm actually watching it like it's a sitcom now)

Rossi's depression seems to get worse while the baby is around. Eventually I look at it to find he set himself on fire… R.I.P Sim Rossi.

* * *

So, Rossi has a big headstone in the BAU garden and is the first to have died. His headstone reads "Here lies BAU profiler David "Sim" Rossi, and his secrets". Prentiss mourns every morning. Everyone has by now had one birthday. Hotch is now elderly, everyone else is an adult… apart from Temperance who is a toddler. Hotch has retired to spend more time with his daughter.

Morgan and Hotch are doing much better now. I think because Hotch is always available when he gets home from work… well… that would make me happy anyway… Temperance also now has a bond with him.

Lo-and-behold… Reid has come back home… WITH A BABY IN TOW… WTH… How did he get a baby… It's just shown up in my family… This child is called "Logan" and has no mother… it's a miracle… Prentiss throws herself at Reid as he arrives… That's quite cute.

So, now we have toddler Temperance and baby Logan in the house.

I'm taking a quick check up on JJ. Over in China she has a baby now… So my team are breeding like bunnies.

Prentiss has just been scared half to death by Rossi's ghost… Hell that was funny.

* * *

Now, I've left them for a while as I type up all of this (to this point…) and I've realised I have this on quite a short lifespan (50 Sim days) and Hotch is on his way out… Temperance is a child now though, only a couple of days from being a teen. I'm sure Morgan is gonna love having a teen girl on his own. Reid has finally become a full adult, while Logan is a toddler. Prentiss and Reid are in a relationship… and… Morgan is cheating on a dying Hotch with Garcia… oh dear…

Oh dear… Hotch just died… R.I.P. Sim Hotch.

* * *

Hotch's headstone is in the garden. It reads "Aaron "Sim" Hotchner - buried at sea". HAHA. Prentiss is still mourning Rossi every morning, now she mourns Hotch too. So does Morgan and Temperance. That's sad. Morgan is moving on with Garcia now. We have two couples left in the house. Reid and Prentiss and Morgan and Garcia.

Temperance is now a teenager, she's gotten a job and straight A's. Logan is a snot nosed brat, but also with straight A's… would be difficult for them to get anything but with family like Reid.

Prentiss just discovered she's pregnant… Ohhh good for Prentiss and Reid.

* * *

So… I left them a few Sim days and now Prentiss had a girl, I named her Camille… Another Bones shoutout… and since all but Reid have aged to "elderly". Morgan only has a few days left, he should just see Temperance become an adult. Garcia and Prentiss aren't far behind him. Reid is going to become elderly any minute.

We just get news that JJ has died in China. She had 5 babies though. Good for JJ.

There we have it, Reid is elderly. Tomorrow Temperance will be an adult, and I predict the day after we'll lose Morgan. I have 10 days with Reid though. Excellent.

* * *

Temperance became an adult today, and almost straight afterwards Morgan passed away. I placed his tombstone next to Hotch's as he and Garcia never married. I write on his tombstone "Here Rests A Serial Flirt - Derek "Sim" Morgan" Prentiss lives in the garden now, mourning the boys.

Garcia has retreated back to her computer. She won't get off it unless she's hungry, tired or needs a wee. You gotta love her dedication… Prentiss and Reid are enjoying their last couple of days.

* * *

Logan is a teen now, while Camille is a child.

Breaking news… we just lost Prentiss, she died fairly quickly after she got stuck in a burning room. Her tombstone is out in the growing graveyard with the boys. R.I.P Sim Prentiss.

Her tombstone reads "Emily "Sim" Prentiss, the only biological mother of the bunch"

Reid and Garcia both go out to mourn occasionally, both are trying to help the kids, but Garcia has only a few minutes left by my reckoning… Reid only half an hour at the most. Then this story (and three pages of my Works document) will be over.

Garcia and Reid have been drawn together… they keep snuggling on the couch. Bless.

Temperance is going to get married. Good news.

* * *

Reid has no shame… Minutes after Garcia had died he made a move on the engaged Temperance… oops… she didn't accept… of course… but Logan is going to be an adult soon.

Garcia's tombstone reads "The Oracle Of Quantico rests here"

Temperance's engagement is now off… silly Reid, flirting while he fiance is around. Dirty old man… your best friends daughter…

* * *

After his drama… Reid has just died… he tried to bargain with Death… that didn't work… Logan and Temperance are going to get married, and they appear to have adopted Camille (who is now a teenager)

Reid's tombstone reads "Spencer "Sim" Reid - a dirty old perv".

**

* * *

**

**Thanks for joining me on this journey through the crazy lives of my Sims… I'm quite sad this family is no more… I wonder if the next one will be as extreme… **

**HAHA! I am really sorry if this just confused you! Remember... other than the names... and the fact that makes it funny... This is buggar all to do with the show.**


End file.
